The good, the bad, and you know the rest

I'll start with the BAD, go to the UGLY, then conclude with the GOOD:

• BAD:  I had a U-14 P1 Girls' game.  2nd minute into the game, Yellow coach complains I missed a handling inside the penalty area.  I had a decent angle, saw nothing.  No signal from my A/R (opposite site - alleged handling was in my quadrant).  More importantly, no one from the Yellow team screamed "hand ball sir!" (yes, we usually get plenty of 'help' from the players on the field with those calls).  So all I said to the coach is "didn't see it sir".  HE JUST WOULDN'T let it go.  10 min later I do call a handling and he says "well at least *they* got their handling."  I also had one crazy 5 min stretch in the 2nd half where there were many almost fouls, but I didn't call any.  Also had one mysterious downed girl that I didn't see the cause because I did not remember my previous lesson - take an extra second looking behind the play before moving on.

OK so my two lessons here:  Ask, Tell, Remove!  Also, don't forget to call fouls - even if they are trifling - to keep the temperature down.  So at the end the coach felt like we conspired against his team.  I was done with him at that point, but I did not REMOVE him (I should have).  The sad thing is I worked with 2 Grade 8 HS refs who both have potential to really progress as refs.  They both thought I did a great job, and both thought the coach was an *sshole.  So congrats coach.  Not only are you ignorant, but your actions cause other young refs to think "why bother."  If we see each other again and you start, you won't finish.

•  UGLY:  2nd Prez Cup game, this time as AR #1.  The CR for this game was my AR #1 when I was CR for my first Prez Cup game.  Had U-17 Girls.  Early on the game started clean, but the temperature started rising and the CR wasn't adjusting.  At half, the other AR told the CR "call everything and I mean everything in the first 10 min of the 2nd half or there may be some reds."  Sure enough, in the 2nd half a pushing match breaks out between 2 girls.  Reds #1 and #2.  Then we had a 2nd Yellow on another girl.  Red #3.  So an 11 v 11 game ends up 10 v 9.  U-17 girls.

• GOOD:  Well my 1st Prez Cup game.  CR for U-16 girls.  My whistle was active in the 1st half.  More importantly, I also saw an almost elbow (reprimand) and an after the play blatant push (whistle, reprimand).   I did have to issue a Yellow in the 2nd half for Dissent (some girls just don't know when to shut up) but otherwise the temperature was well managed.  Oh almost had to Remove a parent.  Coaches were complimentary.
• GOOD:  Fr/Soph HS game.  In the first half, my partner and I must have called 15 fouls.  Second half, only 4.  Only one yellow for a tactical foul.  We kept a game that could've gotten out of hand very well under control.  Post-game, the players went out of their way to seek us out (usually HS we just leave the field) and we heard more than normal comments of "great job refs".

Managing the temperature of the game is an exact art and subtle science.  I've read other referee blogs where, despite your best efforts, some players are not there to play.  That is true.  But in the case of the U-17 Prez Cup, the CR didn't react quickly enough and ignored advice that was given by an experienced (albeit younger) AR.  Would have the pushing match happened if the temperature was well maintained?  Perhaps.  But I think not as, for the most part, players will adjust to what is being called, and if you're tough in the first half (and can handle the inevitable "why isn't that a foul" whining), the game should go reasonably well.