Managing Coaches

Some observations about a few coaches that were in my games this past weekend...

• For my first game (AR1), one of the coaches was nattily attired in a fedora hat, dress shirt, slacks, shoes, and tie.  Not normally a coach's attire on a warm Sunday morning for a U-12 boys game.  So I had to ask the coach about his attire.  He is a minister/pastor and had to go conduct the 10a service (after the 8a game that is).  Well that's cool.  So I wondered how he would conduct himself on the sideline.  I also wondered when we missed a call if he'd summon some help from the divine entity who's word he was preaching.  The answer:  He was a class act.  Knew when to lean on his players.  Questioned one call, but very professionally ("Oooh, that was close sir.  Unlucky guys (aka players)").  His team did win by a good margin, but I think he generally conducts himself that way.

• Had a good, but otherwise uneventful U-12 boys game.  Good in that it was back and forth and ended up 4-4.  Uneventful in that I only had to call a handful of fouls.  Both coaches behaved nicely and thanked my crew for a job well done.  More about post game later in this post.

• Being an AR1 is always interesting.  Most coaches will banter with you, although they should know I'll never disagree with a CR's call (at least not in front of the coaches!).  You get to hear the mumbling about a call or non-call.  Most apologize if they are too close to the touch line (although at State Cup they want us to more strictly manage the technical area, so they get the "Ask, Tell" treatment if they are too close to the touch line).  Actually, most ask rhetorical questions about their own players.

Then there's the experience from another game this past weekend.  I was AR1.  The Center was an experienced ref as I've seen him at State and President's Cup, but he is in undergrad school.

A girl was streaking down the sideline, was fouled just entering the attacking third of the field, but pressed on and gained significant advantage (past last defender on the side).  CR says "advantage", play continues, and the girl fails to convert, well past any reasonable time that a ref would determine advantage didn't materialize and give the prior foul.  Coach yells "I would've preferred the free kick."  Huh?  The CR made the correct call applying advantage.  CR lets the coach know the player was given advantage and adds "learn the rules coach."  So the coach mutters (key word is mutters - I heard it but not the CR) "well I'll just sit down and shut up since I'm dealing with a Moron."  Hmmmm.  The game ends a few minutes later at which point the coach and CR get into a bit of a loud discussion, with the coach concluding with "And I'm a Grade 7 (meaning ref.)"  In fairness, the CR shouldn't have added fuel to the fire with his comment on "learn the rules coach."  Was the coach justified in calling the CR a Moron (again, I'm the only one that heard that, other than the assistant coach and perhaps his players)?  Should have I raised the flag right then and there and let the CR know what the coach thought of him?  That comment was on the border of "Remove" territory.  Was the coach really a Grade 7?  It's easy enough to find out.  Finally, that coach has no idea who I or the rest of the crew know, even if we are all Grade 8 refs.  All that being said, I'm not sure if I handled the situation correctly as an AR (which basically was to let it go).

When I am a CR, if a coach has a legitimate complaint, I'll let them air it, and say "OK coach, it's over, let's move on."  Obviously if it continues, they get a lecture about the fine art of dissent.  Any coach that thinks I am 'favoring' one team over another is going to get a quick "Tell" or even "Remove" from me, because now they are questioning my integrity.  I'm going to miss calls, but I really don't care who wins or loses, all I see are uniforms and numbers.

• At post game, some coaches will wave and say "thanks refs."  Some will shake your hand, even if there's been some disputed calls, and say "great job" or "good work" or something else complimentary.  Some won't acknowledge you at all until you give them the player cards. A few will ask "hey, I saw something different about this call, what did you see?"  And of course a few are still not happy about a call you made in the 11th minute of the match.  My opinion?  The game is over.  As long as you haven't been 'Removed', shake my hand, I'll say "good game coach", and let's move on.  If you have a legitimate question, ask it, but ask it respectfully, accept my explanation, and don't start a debate over it.  We're probably going to see each other again.  And until I submit my game card/report, I can still write you up.

On a personal note, my son made a competitive team for next fall.  The good news is I can actually relax and WATCH his games next year.  And...back to the "Somebody's Watching Me" post...I know who the Assignor is for his home games.